Butch Leiber's World

No, I have not idea what that means. I was driving home from work last night after midnight listening to my new favorite band, the Black Eyed Peas and enjoying the nonsense of that lyric – “Gotta Get Get, Boom Boom Boom.” Reminds me of my favorite lyric from the 80’s – “You spin me right round baby, right round, like a record baby, right round, round round.” The English language at it’s finest. I could really go off on a tangent about my favorite pop lyrics (”She had a pocket full of horses, trojans, some of them used”) but we’ll save that for another day. But last night I was rocking out to the music and enjoying the ride. I love rolling down the windows on the way home from work, blasting some fun music, no one on the road. It’s quite relaxing and I got to thinking about this being Thanksgiving week.
There are so many things in life that I really enjoy and I guess I’m not always as thankful for them as I could be. The last few years have been difficult financially. I think most of us have felt that tightening and I greatly appreciate that I’ve always had a place to live, always had the use of my car, money for gas, never had my cell phone or electricity disconnected (though I did come close) and I’ve never had to give up my HBO. I’m grateful for all of that and without the help of my incredibly generous parents that would not have been possible. Fuck, I’m about to be forty-seven years old and this is not how my life was supposed to be when I got here.
When that conversation takes over, I notice the shoulds and shouldn’ts and I lose track of how truly blessed I have been and I appreciate it and am greatly thankful for it. It’s amazing how the human mind works. It’s like my consciousness competes for which thoughts, stories, and conversations to latch onto. It would be very easy to get resentful and angry that as I near fifty, I’m renting again, working an hourly job, reporting to a supervisor who is seventeen years younger than I am. I’m single and I’m nearly a whole person overweight. But, I’m also clear that I don’t have to go down that tunnel. The world is full of people living with a chip on their shoulder resenting and regretting that this isn’t how it should be. The fact of the matter is, it is how it is.
I am responsible for how I got here. I left a good paying career as a computer programmer/technical trainer to go sell Real Estate. I left Real Estate to take seven cruises in three years and go start a sign company that ate up all of my savings. I didn’t take the actions to make the sign company successful. At the movies this past weekend, I saw a preview for Clint Eastwood’s next movie. Morgan Freeman plays Nelson Mandela and he quotes from a poem, Invictus by William Ernest Henley, “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” I was moved by the preview – can’t wait for the movie. But mostly, I was inspired by the quote. “I am the master of my fate. I am the Captain of my soul.” And I am thankful for the path I have taken, and the treasures I have amassed, and the experiences I have participated in and the people I have gotten to know and to love.
This thanksgiving week, take a look around. Life is extraordinary – just how it is, and just how it isn’t. Find a few things to appreciate – as for me I mostly appreciate the people who so take care of me and love me, who have taught me so much about life and appreciation and love. I’m thankful for the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle, for the internet, for music, for TiVo and pizza and fried foods (see below), for drive-through restaurants, for football, for sex, for vacations, cruise ships, waiters carrying glasses of vodka on the rocks – to me, for my past, for my future, for my health, for my teeth, for luxury, for simplicity, for courage and for fear, I could go on forever. I’m thankful for the Landmark Forum, boxer briefs, the view from my living room, multi-disk CD changers, Advair and free WiFi. But mostly, I am thankful for the people in my life, and I apologize if I don’t express it often or loud enough. It’s a continuous battle to stay present to appreciation and thankfulness when the dark side so often wants to take control. But we must stop at times and take stock, appreciate, love and laugh. Happy Thanksgiving! Love and appreciate the people in your life. I do you!