For the last, oh, several years I’ve been dealing with issues with my finances. The sign company was never profitable and closed, real estate sucked, and i took a mediocre paying job that just lets me get by. All through that I’ve been very fortunate that I still have my car, I still have my iPhone, and I still have my cable TV. I was and am not poverty stricken but, I did stop spending money on things that I enjoyed doing. Movies have become a luxury. Going out to eat at nice restaurants stopped ages ago (unless someone else was paying). And the theater, well, I haven’t seen a live show in years until tonight. Who can justify a $40 theater ticket when there’s car insurance to pay and gas to put in the car.
There are two shows currently playing in Phoenix that I was dying to see. I love my musical theater cds and there are a few I’ve owned for a few years that I enjoy listening to. One is called ‘[title of show]‘. It’s a musical about two guys writing a musical about writing a musical. Gay. I know. Let it go. I’ve listened to the album many, many times and though the whole show is great there are two or three classic, knock-your-socks-off songs. I’ve thought about getting tickets but the opportunity and the finances have not really presented themselves.
Tonight, I was driving home from work looking towards another night of rerun TV until Project Runway came on and I decided, “I’m going to do something for myself tonight!” I called the Arizona Theater Company and found that they had lots of available seats tonight (don’t get me started on the sad taste of Phoenix theater goers) so I pointed myself towards central Phoenix. I parked my car and walked over to the Herberger and bought my ticket for tonight’s show. I happen to have the soundtrack to ‘[title of show]‘ on my iPhone, so I plugged in my headset and took a long walk around the Convention Center and central Phoenix.
I love being downtown. I love the buildings and the people and the activity and the charm of Phoenix. I wandered a little and ended up back at the theater about half an hour before curtain time. I took my seat early – one single seat, dead center, second row of the balcony. Score! There was a pre-show discussion by the stage manager which was quite interesting about how the show came to be and how it came to play in Phoenix – this is the first city the show has played since it ended it’s Broadway run. People slowly filtered into the theater and by curtain time, there was almost no one sitting around me – no one in front of me, no one on either side. I felt like this was my personal performance of the show.
Initially, I was a little concerned about going to the theater alone but when the lights went down and I was alone, with the cast and the music, I was in heaven. The show was stellar – the music great, the cast, amazing, the story funny and cute with lots of insider theater jokes. I got some and I’m sure I missed some but I don’t care. I was in heaven. It’s been so long since I’ve done something for myself and by myself that truly moved me and touched me that by the next to last number of the show I was tears. No one was sitting near me but I still sniffled quietly to myself, hiding my tears from anyone who might notice. I’d forgotten how much I love going to the theater, how much I love a good musical. And more importantly, seeing the whole show, as it was created by creative minds from sets, to costumes, to staging that you can’t even being to imaging from just listening to the soundtrack album.
There are certain things in life that totally turn me on – doing the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle on Sunday (and finishing it), a great musical theater performance, seeing a show for the first time whose music I know my heart, great use of the English language (see authors Michael Chabon and early Richard Russo), watching the sun set while sitting on a beach chair at the back of a cruise ship and being dressed up in a fancy restaurant with good friends and finishing the evening off with a snifter of Grand Marnier. When life becomes a struggle, its hard to remember to appreciate the little things that turn you on. I often forget to leave the struggle, even for a few minutes, and appreciate those things that provide true enjoyment. Tonight, I enjoyed my theatrical experience. And I’m home early enough to watch Project Runway. How much better does life get on a random Thursday night?
Thanks for reading!
Peace.
My blog
“Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?” That’s a great line from a great song, and very similar to questions I’ve been getting from people lately. I did, kind of, disappear for a short while for some of you. I’m not visiting the same old places, not running with the same crowds I have been for the last few years so it may seem as if I have disappeared for awhile. And, I know, I haven’t posted to the blog since New Year’s day. But, I assure you, all is well and good.
I’m still single but having fun dating and fooling around. I’m still wildly overweight and – I’ve started a new eating program. I’m on day seven of the Fat Flush Plan and I feel great and I know I’ve lost some weight because my clothes fit better – in just six days!! My goal is to lose 30 pounds by May 3, 2010 and then 30 more by the end of the year. I’ll let you know how it goes. My big challenge with that is getting used to the taste of the flaxseed oil and planning and preparing for all my meals. Oh, and the constant craving for Krispy Creme donuts!
I’m working at GoDaddy.com and I just moved onto the customer development team. I’m really enjoying the job. We get to call all the new customers that purchased online and welcome them to GoDaddy.com and make sure they got what they needed and help them set up their products. So far, it’s a lot of fun and I have a whole lot more earning potential than I had as a Technical Support / Sales rep.
Along that line, I’ve set up what’s called a Reseller Account. I’m selling GoDaddy products under the name BravoDogDomains.com. Many of my prices are less than GoDaddy’s prices and, if you purchase through me, you’ll be supporting… me! If you or anyone you know needs to get online, needs a domain name, website or email please have them give me a call or email me and I’ll make sure you/they get everything you/they need. I love consulting people around doing business on the internet. I get so many calls from people at work who buy stuff and have no idea what they need or what to do with it. You can even call (480) 624-2500 twenty-four hours a day to order or get customer support. I appreciate all your support.
At work, they block us from accessing Facebook. Smart move! But I haven’t been online much in the last month. I guess I am hiding out a little bit. When I post to my blog here it updates Facebook automatically, so to my Facebook friends who have been missing me – HI! And the phone still works if you want to chat!
Peace and Love- Butch
My Blog: http://butchL.com
My Fiction: http://butchl.com/wordpress/?page_id=126
A blue moon ended the double-oh decade and I ended it with a few blue days. Back in 2000, at the start of the double-ohs, I participated in a program that has truly changed my life. I swallowed the red pill and became aware that I am the master of my fate. I create my reality. And, for the last ten years, reality has been an amazing ride – I took my first cruise (and seven more), I went whitewater rafting down the Colorado, I traveled to Europe for the first time, I met thousands of amazing people, had sex with hundreds of amazing men, started two new businesses, closed two new businesses, bought and sold investment real estate, lost lots of weight, gained lots of weight, made lots of money, spent lots of money, lost lots of money, learned, loved and lived very well.
Well, lately, I’ve forgotten that I created all of that. From nothing. I forgot that I don’t have to be at the impact of life. I forgot that I am not a victim of my circumstances. For the last year, I’ve been residing at a dip in the road. Money has been scarce, romance has been cruel, and food has been very (very) comforting but my clothes have not. I’ve been wallowing in woe is me, the world is mean, this isn’t it, it shouldn’t be this way. And it all feels really really real. I woke up this morning realizing that duh, I get to create again. A new year, a new decade. Who knows what opportunities life will present. Who knows what I’ll have to endure. Who knows? But, I get to create who I am going to be for all of it!
To that end, I’ve created three rules for the new year. They’re simple.
1. Choose. At any moment choose. Whether it’s the salad versus the burger (a real choice) or my bank balance (a tougher choice), choose.
2. Generate Satisfaction. One thing I know about me is that I will never be satisfied, it will never be enough. I must generated my own satisfaction. I must create being grateful. It’s not a natural state of being for me so I must be responsible for it if I want it.
3. It’s all good – it’s perfect just how it is. I say it all the time. It’s time to “be” it. What I’m doing right now is the most important thing in the world. There is no place else to be.
That’s it. The journey continues. I will enjoy the ride. Join me? I love you, and as always,
Peace.
Butch Leiber’s World Blog
I guess I like to think I’m conventional but in 2009/2010 America, what is convention? Conventional: conforming with accepted standards.
Conspire Coffee House
“Those people.” In that I heard my grandmother, sitting at the dining room table judging and criticizing the people she dealt with on a daily basis. Now, her “those people” and my “those people” are different people. And I’m sure to some, I’m one of “those people.” I am gay, and I was raised Jewish and I shave my head and I have a tattoo and I’m one hundred pounds overweight and I’m single and I have sex with random strangers and, well, I can probably find more things that make me one of “those people” to someone else.
Why is it so easy to judge and assess people when they don’t fit our mold of how people should be? We have our own conventions in life and think everyone should fit in that mold. I’ve been looking, searching lately for Mr. Right and the few men I’ve met lately who I really like just don’t fit the mold of what I expect for my boyfriend, or better, what my friends or parents would expect me to bring home. So I dump them, or move on hoping the next one will fit better.
I’ve begun to notice lately the constraints I put on myself by my own conventions, how I should be, how my life should be. The more I judge and criticize myself the more I notice I’m critical and judgmental of others. I check out what they’re doing or not doing and vote on whether it’s good or bad or even worse, could I, should I try that on? I like to think I’m an independent thinker. I like to think I’m unique and my own creation. But ultimately, I’m one giant paradox of convention and non-convention; a bundle of look at me and what are you looking at. I want so badly to fit it – everywhere, and so badly to be unique, always looking for approval, acceptance, love.
For this final two weeks of the year, I’m taking on acceptance, love and approval of all, including myself. No one is perfect, and we all are. Happy holidays!
Peace.
Butch Leiber’s World Blog
Just some of the wishes
I wasn’t too thrilled to celebrate this year – forty seven years old may be a minor accomplishment but not one I was keen to celebrate. So, I made no special plans, and in the past, the day could have passed with only my parents and brother and sister remembering my birthday. But there it is, on Facebook for all to see- “Wish Butch a Happy Birthday – Click here!” It’s simple and takes seconds. From time to time even I click to wish people a happy birthday. It’s a ten second feel good. But on this end, as my email began to fill with wishes I got a little teary… and grateful… and humbled.
I know amazing people all over the globe. Some I know well, some we’ve met, shared a moment and moved on. Some I know from my youth, from high school, from random cruises, Landmark, Landmark cruises, someone I met sitting next to me eating sushi in Tempe, former co-workers, spouses of former co-workers, former lovers, hook-ups and potential future lovers (or hook-ups) and other assorted extraordinary human beings. And many took the ten second feel good moment to think about me. But put all of those together and it made for a wonderful day in my world.
My birthday did begin in a surreal fashion. I worked until midnight so headed to the bar to usher in my new year. I picked up a friend on the way and met two others at the bar. One of them picked up someone else at the bar and the five of us sat around drinking. I realized of the five people I’d be spending my birthday with, I had know one of them for just under a year, one for just around two months and two for minutes. We were having fun chatting and drinking and then the strippers showed up. It must have been a slow night at the Cabaret down the street and they came around looking for potential customers. There were none to be found with us but that didn’t stop them from trying. When Dallan, yes Dallan, found out it was my birthday, he and Rocky ripped off their shirts (moment here to catch my breath – Dallas was amazing) and gave me a short lap dance. Thank god the bar was empty and I was very uncomfortable but it was a surreal moment… particularly when Rocky playfully bit me on the shoulder. My birthday was starting out beautifully – me at the center of attention of a bunch of handsome men – I hope that bodes well for the whole year!
We all (except for the strippers) ended up at Denny’s sharing my free GrandSlam Breakfast. You can order four items and there were five of us so I ordered my own Pancake Puppies (See my Nov 19th Posting) and Mike 1 had hash browns, Mike 2 had bacon, Daniel had pancakes and Bobby had the eggs. Everyone was happy. It had the making of a great birthday. There’s an x-rated ending to the story but we’ll pass on re-telling that here.
Rigel - Coming to a VH1 Reality Show near you!
We’re now Facebook friends. Perhaps I’ll send him good wishes on his birthday next year.
